The time is 20:30. I have just returned from Singaraja, where some shopping was done with Ketut, his trouble and strife and the billy lids
I had bought a cool disco outfit with padded shoulders for rp. 75,123 an I intend to have it modified into a temple trackie jacket and dacks later, so I will look like a local. Having a good shape is extremely important for me! The padded shoulders are necessary because my shoulders slope considerably.
Actually I was sacked from my job as a postman because the bag kept slipping off my shoulders, and also because I have always refused to ring twice.
I had also bought some normal clothes for myself, a very sexy dress and knickerbockers. How grouse I will look in these outfits!.
Ketut turned south from the coastal road, driving the car like Michael Schumacher and high tailing up a chicane. We were on our way to a upacara leluhur, what the hell was that I asked!
A lot of people were already present when we arrived at the place of the maturan. I was the only tourist however I didn't look like a tourist in my sexy dress, just pretty cool. We were in a sort of open-air courtyard.
Directly to the left of the courtyard a small gamelan orchestra was playing, traditional instruments producing the unique sounds of Indonesian traditional music. In front of the musicians a rectangular square was left vacant Did I say that? Squares aren't rectangular! Oh well, I can't help myself emphasizing spelling mistakes if made by a non-native speaker.
At the right were some tables with benches and chairs in front of them and young men standing behind, selling all kinds of food, fruit, lollies, drinks and fags. I am missing the condoms though! We sat down at one of the benches and had some 'nasi pahit' I like things pahit, it's in my character. The bitter the better! The billy lids drank arak. The dark sky above me seemed to twinkle with thousands of stars and with the teh I just drank I felt like a twinkle too.
After a while, people started to gather around the square shaped like a rectangle. (Did I say that again? Must be my limited IQ, making the same mistake again) with the gamelan orchestra. Ketut explained that a dance called the Pendet was about to begin. You beauty! I thought, how timely was that! buying my new sexy dress!.
The Pendet dance is a very sexy dance and is intended for everyone to have fun. A young man, with an hour glass figure, starts the dance and very soon the audience get right into it with loud vocal applause and encouragement. As the dancer moves around wiggling his hips like Shakira other dancers join in.
The men then dance close to the men in the audience while holding a selendang (like a long scarf) They place the selendang around a man's shoulders, (I knew my sloping shoulders would spoil the fun!) and draw the man onto the dance floor. The man is expected to mimic the dancers moves which attracts loud cheers and roars from the audience.
In the beginning I was standing to the back of the audience but because I have such a big head shaped like a ripe tomato I was seen by the dancers and pushed forward. The shouting and pointing to draw the dancer's attention at me intensified more and more, and yes, I started to get quite excited and nearly blew my load!
Soon I was in the middle of the square, rectangle, whatever.... the roars, laughs and cheers of the audience all around me, the selendang around my fat neck. I danced like Fred Astaire, tapdancing like a madman. I was the coolest dude on the dance floor.
Finally I was bugged, and collapsed on the floor, sweating and thirsty, being complimented and patted on the shoulder pads. I sat down with Ketut's family again for a drink but there must have been something very interesting happening outside because they looked the other way when I sat down.
Well another great day in Bali, and the boys seem to love me. I'm sure this has not been my last Joget or my last story.